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OK, so you've been a loving pet owner and you've taken your ailing best friend to the vet. Among the instructions and subtractions from your wallet, you were given pills for your pooch. You sit contemplating your predicament: How to get the contents of the bottle you are holding in your right hand into the animal you are comforting with your left, without incurring a trip to the emergency room for yourself. By following these simple steps, you will get the medicine into Felix or Fido before they have a chance to protest.
These instructions are for right-handed folks. Lefties should use the opposite hands.
Step 1: Remove the pill from the bottle and place it between the thumb and forefinger of your right hand. Always have the medicine out and ready to be administered before you approach the animal.
Step 2: Approach your pet casually. Animals can sense that something important is about to happen, especially if you run up to them. If your pet is skittish, this will probably be a cue for him to bolt.
Step 3: Bend or sit down quietly in front of your pet and talk soothingly in a low voice. Stroke the coat to put the animal at ease.
Step 4: Using your left hand, gently but firmly grasp the pet's mouth and nose, or snout if you prefer, and tilt its head back so that the nose is pointing toward the ceiling.
Step 5: Slide the thumb and index finger of your left hand into the corners on both sides of the mouth and pry open the jaws.
Step 6: Use the middle finger of your right hand to completely open the mouth.
Step 7: With the pill grasped between the thumb and index finger of your right hand, place the pill in the mouth and push the pill as far down the animal's throat as you can with your index finger. Clamp the jaws closed and hold with the left hand. The nose is still pointing upward.
Step 8: While holding the jaws closed with your left hand, firmly massage the pet's throat with your right index finger until the animal swallows. Release the animal. Licking also indicates that the pet has swallowed.
Note: A wily pet may catch on quickly to what you are doing after several doses have been given, attempting to roll the pill around inside his mouth so that he can spit it out. If this happens, pick up the slimy, half dissolved tablet and repeat Steps 4-8. Stay cool and calm as your pet probably is fairly excited at this point.
With practice, this procedure can be executed as one fluid movement. The goal is to do this so quickly that the pill is inside the pet and completely swallowed before the animal knows what has happened.
I find that this procedure is effective about ninety five percent of the time. For the other five percent you may have to resort to such subterfuges as hiding the pill in a piece of cheese or crushing it up and sprinkling it into food. You can even get a device from your vet called a "piller", which shoots the tablet down your pet's throat. Those should be your last resort.
Patience and persistence are key to the success of this exercise. Scolding your pet for trying to break free when medication is being administered will make you angry and your animal fearful. This, added to the trauma of a visit to the vet, will exacerbate the problem. Gentle but firm is the way to go.
Remember, practice is important. Good luck!
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